Disclaimer: Legal stuff, don't own characters, haven't made any money, this is for entertainment purposes, no profit earned, lawyers go away. –kisses-
Spoiler Alert: There are tidbits from past episodes and Spanderverse: stories.
Notes: Fifth story in the Spanderverse-universe, following “Spanderverse: Burial”.
Everything from the television series through the defeat of Adam also occurred as depicted, in the Spanderverse. Following Burial and before this story BTVS: Real Me occurred. This is the Spanderverse: version of BTVS: The Replacement.
Note in the Spanderverse, Anya was employed at the Magic Shop by Mr. Bogerty until ‘Real Me’, as mentioned in Spanderverse: Dracula.
People’s thoughts are depicted in italics. You’ll find emphasis depicted with an underline.
Spanderverse: Confusion of Three
Ch. 11/17 – A Brief Scuffle Ensues
Commando-Xander preceded the tenant landlord into the apartment. In a quick glance he noticed the door leading to a small terrace, the large living room/dining area and a small but reasonably nice kitchen. Anya would love it, he knew.
"And it has two bedrooms and two baths?" Xander asked, looking at the woman who was, it should be said, standing inappropriately close to him.
"Yes, well, no… I mean," the auburn haired woman said, looking up into the beautiful large eyes of the stranger. "Let me try this again," she laughed lightly, "It has one master bedroom and another room that is just large enough for a small bedroom or office. The master bedroom comes with a master bath. The second bathroom is small; you can see the door right over there. It's not a full bath. It's just the commode and a sink. Of course," the woman added hastily, "the available floor space is quite generous for the monthly rent."
Zeppo-Xander limped down the hallway, favoring his right leg. He'd tried to keep up with Toth-in-his-body, but his efforts to take two stairs at a time had ended with him slipping and banging his leg painfully on a step. No doubt, there'd be a huge bruise by tomorrow. Now he was afraid he'd ended up losing the bastard, just when he'd had his courage screwed up to confront him.
As Xander came around a corner, he heard his own voice distinctly close by. He saw just a few doors from the corner in which he'd ducked around, an apartment door open and his own voice issuing from within it.
Xander heard himself, or Toth rather, ask to see the spare room. A woman agreed, and Xander rushed down the hallway to the open door, peaking inside. As he saw the woman and Toth looking into the spare room, he looked about at the apartment Toth was checking out. He had to admit to himself that it was really nice. Of course, how Toth was going to be able to afford a place like this, Xander didn't know.
Oh, God! He's going to sell my frickin' house! He is totally ruining everything, that bastard!
Xander quickly pulled away from the doorway, as he noticed Toth beginning to turn around. Pacing quickly back to the corner, he strained his ears to hear what Toth was saying.
"My girlfriend is going to love this place," he had the nerve to say, "I'd think I'd like to go ahead and sign the papers. Let you run that credit check."
"You don't want to let your girlfriend," and Xander in the hallway thought he heard disappointment in the woman's voice on that last word, "come and see it first?"
What the hell! He's moving in with Anya? No wonder he went into the site, then. He plans on taking over my life permanently. This has got to stop now, before Anya winds up hurt or having lizardy demon-babies.
As Xander strained around the corner as far as he dared, he heard the sound of papers rustling. "Not necessary," he heard Toth inform the landlord-lady, "When she sees that veranda, it'll be a done deal."
"Wonderful! I'll just take these downstairs and jump on the computer. Sunnydale Central Savings and Loan should be able to confirm your employment history in no time. I've never lived in a town where things happened so fast!"
"Well, we've always strived to maintain that small town, friendly atmosphere," Xander told Bonita, his future landlady.
Of course, the real reason why there wasn't the red tape and delays that occurred in other towns was the Mayor's efforts to get as many future meals in chomping range as he could for his ascension plans. And even though those plans were a ruined deal nearly a year and a half ago now, the new mayor had kept the streamlining policies in place. Xander often wondered if Mayor Anthony Brackesh was planning an ascension of his own, or if he was actually just the regular guy he appeared to be. Willow hadn't been able to dig up anything suspicious about him, other than his questionable dating profile on Professional Daters-dot-com; but that didn't mean he wasn't secretly evil.
Oh, right, like you'd know anything about life in Sunnydale. Lying, smooth, demon bastard-guy. As Zeppo-Xander spied around the corner, the woman walked out of the apartment. He ducked back around the corner, hoping the lady wasn't going to walk this way with his imposter in tow. After several seconds, he took a quick peek around the corner to see her walking away in the opposite direction. Toth for his part was watching her, her hips swaying back and forth in a tight black skirt.
You son of a bitch, don't even think about it, Xander raged. I can't believe that bastard is eye-cheating on Anya. Wait, I mean, oh never mind!
He gripped the short and stocky tree branch in both hands, squeezing tightly until it just started to hurt his palms.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, he chanted to himself as he rushed down the hallway toward the demon. At least he isn't carrying that laserbeam-staff with him.
Commando-Xander stood in the new apartment's doorway watching the movements of the rear end of the landlady as she headed back to her own apartment/office to clear his way to renting. He thought she might be overdoing the hip-sway thing, he'd noticed she'd been clearly flirting with him the entire time she was showing him the new pad. Not that he'd ever actually pursue it, of course. He was a one-woman man, and Anya had the title. There was nothing wrong with appreciating when someone found you attractive though. After all, it wasn't something that Xander experienced every day. And when someone was shaking her caboose like that, it'd be rude not to notice.
From the corner of his eye he caught the sudden rush of movement of someone barreling down the hallway at him. He had just pulled the cell phone from his pocket, getting ready to call Anya. As Xander turned, already raising his hands defensively (a reaction you developed as a Scooby-member), he saw a blurred image of a club swinging toward him.
Commando-Xander tried to pull away from the coming blow, only to have the club smash heavily into his wrist; the cell phone breaking apart as it was slammed out of his hand and into the woodwork of the doorway.
Shit! That's gonna cost me! Xander quickly forgot about the phone to confront his attacker, finding himself staring at himself!
"What the hell!?" Commando-Xander yelled.
"You're not ruining things for me and Anya!"
The imposter was disheveled, and dirty. Plus, he stank like a landfill in the summer. Toth! Toth has taken on my face, and he's after Anya!
"You stay the hell away from her," Commando-Xander yelled at his opponent. Then he was rushing toward the imposter.
Zeppo-Xander stumbled backward as Toth rushed toward him. He brought the branch around in a wide swing when he felt his wrist blocked by the demon.
Commando-Xander blocked a swing by Toth and his magic staff, swinging his own fist into the demon's face.
As Zeppo-Xander reeled away by the blow to his face, he felt a heavy foot crash into his mid-section. Dropping the makeshift club, he tried to prevent his fall, while recovering enough to stop the follow up attack by the demon. Unfortunately, his ankles got crossed with one another and he felt himself hit the carpet heavily, the wind knocked from him.
Scrambling to his feet, he saw Toth retrieving the branch that he'd dropped within the demon's reach. Zeppo-Xander struggled to his feet in a panic and ran for the stairwell. I can't take him, he's too good. I gotta get to
Commando-Xander grabbed Toth's staff from the floor, just noticing how much it looked like any old ordinary tree branch. As he came upright, he pointed the staff at Toth, hoping the damned thing would shoot whatever it was that it shot him with before.
He found himself alone in the hallway. He could hear Toth's heavy tread as he descended the stairway around the corner. He briefly considered giving chase but realized that he had gotten a powerful artifact from the demon. The thing to do now was get the magic doohickey to the Magic Box and safely away from his grasp.
Xander looked at the broken remnants of his employer's cell phone lying in scattered bits on the carpet. Grimacing, he pushed the broken pieces of plastic into the apartment and shut the door. He would have to clean that up later.
He stopped off for a brief moment at the manager's office, explaining he'd just been called into an emergency at work. He asked her for a key, which she produced with her congratulations on his new tenancy. He struggled for a friendly smile, and then quickly rushed out of the door, accelerating to a quick jog in the direction of the Magic Box.
End Ch 11